I wonder what your shoulders know
A love note to our shoulders for all they hold, along with a meaningful practice of connecting with the story our body holds.
Do your shoulders also live about a half inch above their ideal resting spot?
Mine have moved a bit south but I still notice them fill with tension and anticipation. Thought we could write our shoulders a little love note today.
We see you, shoulders. Or, rather. We feel you.
Always anticipating. Scanning. Wondering when someone will startle and interrupt you. Preparing for the noisy person entering our space. On high alert for that smell or sound or disruption.
We feel you pinching together with confusion as you try to untangle conflict in a relationship that matters to you. What did they mean when they said that? How do I know what I really feel when it’s hard to make sense of it in my body?
Sometimes I wonder if you’re carrying far more than the present moment we’re in. The years of uncertainty and worry. The intrusive thoughts. The people dynamics. The need to feel ON at any moment if someone approaches us.
We feel the confusion and weight of expectations. You take those very seriously. It’s hard to find ease at times.
When you near our ears some days, we feel the chaos and overwhelm you hold as our country navigates a really tough season. We sense the uncertainty of our stories with people we love, our neighbors, our work, and our bodies.
You must feel so responsible.
You’re holding so much.
Shoulders – we offer you our full attention today. We pause for a few moments. We gently breathe into your muscles and bones.
We offer gratitude for all you do. Truly.
We listen. It’s your turn to speak.
I just want us to feel safe. So I scan and prepare and suppress and avoid. I want to help you so badly. But it feels like sometimes I only add more stress to your life. I hate this.
I just don’t know how to let go. Yet.
With a gentle touch to the shoulder – we speak to it in return. Because we’re learning to reverently love all these chaotic overwhelmed parts of it. We don’t power through and silence them anymore. We’re learning to listen and believe them.
Oh, sweet friend. You’re working so hard to keep us safe. It was especially helpful when we were younger. You’ve helped us in big ways. Thank you. Truly.
Here’s the thing, though. We’re actually older now. And we’re learning how to create a life that fits who we actually are. And you don’t have to hold as much as you have in the past. We’re slowly growing our capacity to be with the ups and downs in a way that doesn’t cause our entire body to crash.
Please know how grateful we are.
And that it’s really okay to let go from time to time.
I’ve got us now.
I’m curious, dear reader. How did it feel to listen in to your shoulders for a moment today? Were you surprised by anything you noticed?
The Gentle Way exists because we’re fascinated at this intersection of neurodivergent nervous systems and somatic healing work. Especially as late-diagnosed or humans, most of us have a deeply complicated relationship with our bodies. They’ve been hard to trust. They’ve let us down a lot. So it’s easier to offload and numb out.
But what if, through slow and steady somatic work, we can bring more love and safety to our bodies? We can build a sacred relationship of trust with these bodies that have betrayed us over the years. We can even rewrite that story.
Maybe they were trying to save us all along.
Sending deep love today,
Jenny
This Week
I loved pressure washing our deck! Got to see SIX, the musical, in theaters. My daughter got her braces off after FIVE years of treatment. Enjoyed a Portland Fire game with a dear friend.
The Big Sister Text List
One of my superpowers is creating a brave cozy space where neurodivergent women (especially us high-masking ones) can rebuild trust with our bodies and arrange our lives to support the needs we actually have.
If you need a little encouraging-big-sister energy in your phone each morning this fall, I’ve got you.
Our Big Sister Text List runs from September 1 - October 31. I’ll send you one text each morning. No homework, no streaks to maintain, no expectations.
Just a little text with encouragement, neurodivergent wisdom, somatic invitations and a lot of “hey, I see you” energy.
It’s $25 for everyone else. But since you’re already a part of the Gentle Way Community, it’s my gift to you!
