What if you make sense?

I spent 27 years going to battle with different parts of my story. Convinced each part was the whole. Terrified and confused as I attempted to resolve one slice of my story at a time.

Sure, I slowly started to understand myself a little better.

But underneath my fearful scrambling was a core belief that I was broken in some unfixable way.

This seems easier for others. Something must be wrong with me.

I'm continuing to learn a different way.

Imagine your life story as a home with lots of different rooms. Different parts of you.

Maybe they're from different chapters: childhood, teen years, young adult, and so on.

Or maybe each room is an emotion. One room is anxious, another is angry. One is deeply sensitive, and another is joy.

As you navigate life within this house, you might assume that the house needs some big upgrades. Some renovations. Each room has something wrong with it. So you get to work repainting, tearing down walls, rearranging furniture.

Some rooms are too messy or too dark. Too loud or full of things you don't understand. Maybe a few rooms are still locked tight, with cobwebs at the corners.

But what if you take a minute to walk through the whole house and discover that each of these rooms connects to the others?

The locked doors are protecting something.
The room you hate is holding complex emotions.
The strange hallway isn't pointless. It's taking you somewhere.

Maybe the house doesn't need endless upgrades.

Maybe you've simply been living inside it without knowing its floor plan.

There are things we can't learn about ourselves until we're ready to learn them. It makes sense.

I've had a lot of locked rooms that stayed off limits until life forced me to open them, or I made my own brave choice to venture inside.

I've been grateful for each room I've explored so far. I don't regret any of them.

They used to feel really scary. Now that I've moved around inside them, gotten to know the layout and the vibe, my system registers them just as...rooms.

There's an integration. An acceptance.

That thing happened. It was really hard. I've made some sense of it. And I can move forward.

Relief.

What if the goal isn't to become a person who finally makes sense?

What if you begin to discover that you've been making sense all along?

Not because you'll eventually be able to explain every part of yourself.

But because, little by little, you begin to see the whole story.

You are not a mystery because something is broken.

You are a mystery because there is always more of your story to discover.

An inner room practice

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine that there is a room inside you.

You don't have to create it. Just notice what already seems be there.

Then gently look around.

• What feels like the center of the room?
• Is there a place you tend to hide?
• Is there a part of the room that feels crowded?
• Is there a door you rarely open?
• Is there a window? What can you see through it?
• Where does your body feel most at home?
• Is there anything - or anyone - you wish you could invite in?
• Is there anything you wish you could move farther away?

You don't need to change the room. You're just getting to know the layout.

And before you leave the room, gently wonder: What did I notice that I didn't know I knew?

A few things from my week

• The Person You Are Between Lives - an essay about liminal spaces and the stories we can't tell yet
• I got to meet Shelby from the Open Door Collective and she's the best! If you're looking for a contemplative community but traditional church isn't your thing, chat with Shelby.
• One of my dear friends is a realtor in Bella Vista, Arkansas. She used to be a pastor and is an incredible coach and somatic-aware person. It's so fun to see how she brings that to the house-hunting process.
• A lot of us with neurodivergence also experience hypermobility and a variety of body challenges. Strength training has always been complicated for me. But through learning about stabilizing, I'm finally building strength in a way that feels good. I work with an in-person physical therapist, but here's a few I follow on Instagram: @thenervoussystem.ot, @krj.coaching, @hypermobile.work

Some fun behind the scenes

A couple of little things are taking shape behind the scenes. 🔥

I'm creating a small, quiet place to receive a little something from me each day as we move through the darker months. More soon.

And remember those cards I mentioned last week? They arrive Tuesday. 👀 I’ll be sharing more soon, but my paid readers will get the first look.

I love making stuff for you!

A little love from us