10 Agreements for Neurodivergent Women Entering Somatic Work

1. We Do Not Perform Pain Here

• You do not need to express your pain in a way that makes sense to me.
• You do not need to cry, explain, or make it emotionally legible.
• You do not need to prove that it “counts.”

Your pain doesn’t have to look a certain way to be real.

2. You Control the Depth

• You choose how close we get to something.
• We can approach and then step back.
• You can say, “That’s close enough.”

Changing you mind mid-process is allowed.

3. Confusion Is Welcome

Many neurodivergent women experience alexithymia or delayed emotional processing.

• “I don’t know” is valid.
• Blankness is data.
• Contradictory feelings are allowed.

If your system hasn’t sorted it yet, we won’t force it to.

4. We Track Capacity, Not Catharsis

Sometimes our systems fear emotional overwhelm.

Agreement:

• We are not trying to break you open.
• We are not trying to relive trauma.
• We are increasing capacity 2–5% at a time.

Flooding is not healing.

5. Masking Will Be Gently Noticed

• If you shift into explaining or minimizing, I may gently name it.
• You can tell me if that feels intrusive.
• We're curious about the mask, not trying to rip it off.

If I notice you getting very articulate when something feels tender, I might slow us down. Not to correct you — just to check if your body is still with us.

6. Repair Is Expected, Not Avoided

Neurodivergent women often carry relational trauma from being misread.

• If I misunderstand you, we will repair.
• If something feels off, we will name it.
• You are allowed to disagree with my read.

Misattunement happens. The safety comes in repairing it.

7. Aftercare Matters

Pain can feel exposing.

• We will always close sessions with regulation.
• You will not leave activated.
• You’ll have a simple grounding practice before ending.

Optional:

• No major decisions for 24 hours after sessions.
• Gentle commitments afterward if possible.

8. Your Nervous System Gets to Be Skeptical

• Parts of you may not trust this work yet.
• We don’t need full buy-in.
• Caution is protective, not resistant.

We don’t override protective parts. We get curious about them.

9. We Move Toward Safety Before Story

• We build safety first.
• If pain surfaces, we stay with body signals, not narrative detail.
• The story only goes as far as the body can tolerate.

10. You Are Not Too Much Here

Intensity doesn’t scare me. Silence doesn’t scare me. Tears don’t scare me. We’ll go at your pace.

Reflection Invitations

• What feels most scary about being vulnerable?
• What would make this feel 5% safer?
• How will you know if we’re going too fast?
• What does your body do when it feels exposed?